How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

The Counselling Corner – Martensville, Saskatchewan
Child, Youth, Adult, Couple, & Family Counselling


Submitted by: Wendy Kritzer BSW MSW RSW

What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence can be described as the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. There can be three skills encompassed within emotional intelligence which are: emotional awareness, ability to curb emotions and connect them to tasks like thinking and problem solving, and the capability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and encouraging others or calming down other individuals. Emotionally intelligent individuals can mindfully experience negative emotions without letting them get out of control, which provides a greater degree of resilience.

Do find your own emotions out of control with carrying anger, shouting at others, or saying hurtful things? These types of behavior could mean your emotional intelligence levels are low. Building skills within this area can be beneficial in providing a more balanced, fulfilled, and productive life. The components of emotional intelligence are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, social skills, and empathy.

Self Awareness – Emotionally intelligent individuals can identify their areas of strengths and weaknesses and how to manage effectively within these areas. An important feature of self-awareness is the ability to recognize where your emotions are coming from and to know why you are upset. As well recognizing emotions when they arise, rather than misidentifying them or ignoring them.

Self-Regulation – is the ability to tolerate stress and to control their impulses or the ability to calm their own emotions in a healthy avenue when triggered.

Motivation – If an individual is a motivated self-starter then the accomplishment of being able to focus your attention and energy towards achieving the goal of becoming emotionally intelligent. Motivation is an internal process that makes a person move toward a goal.

Social Skills – Social skills are the skills individuals use to correspond and connect with each other. Social skills can be conveyed both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language, and our personal experience.

Empathy – Is the ability to understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions from within the other person’s perspective.

Emotional immaturity can be seen in many adults as emotional intelligence does not necessarily come with physical development.

When an individual can gain emotional intelligence, the benefits can be extensive such as the ability to accept criticism without anger, blame, or denial. They can embrace change and have the ability to empathize with others.  They will be mindful of their reactions and how these reactions can affect others. Individuals with emotional intelligence do not get offended easily, and they do not dwell on negative thoughts and will let mistakes go. They will also not hold grudges and find themselves curious about others because they are genuinely interested.

If you have further questions concerning how emotionally intelligent are you please email me at

If you have topics that you would like discussed, please feel free to email me at

Until next time –

From The Counselling Corner


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